Support Groups for Families of Fallen Military Personnel
Relevance of the Topic and the Context of War
The full-scale invasion of the Russian Federation into Ukraine has caused unprecedented human losses which, according to official data as of the beginning of 2026, amount to 55,000 fallen Ukrainian military personnel. The scale of this tragedy determines the critical necessity for the development and implementation of systemic spiritual and psychological rehabilitation for the families of the fallen, as the acute pain of loss and complex psychological traumas require professional and empathetic accompaniment for the restoration of emotional stability, the overcoming of a crisis of faith, and adaptation to new social conditions.
The significance of the Church's role in Ukrainian society is confirmed by consistently high indicators of sociological research. According to polls by the Razumkov Centre, the Church traditionally ranks among the institutions that evoke the greatest trust among citizens. In 2025, the religiosity of Ukrainian society remains at a high level, despite the shock changes caused by the war. According to the latest data, the level of religiosity "increased to 74% with the beginning of the full-scale Russian aggression, but in 2023–2025 it decreased and amounted to 70.5% in 2023, 68% in 2024, and 70% in 2025."
It is important that 25% of respondents noted that after the beginning of the full-scale invasion (after February 2022) they became more religious than they were before. This is especially noticeable among combatants, among whom the share of those who strengthened in faith is higher than among civilians. The social activity of Churches during the war has acquired special significance: almost all churches and religious organisations have significantly intensified charitable activity. Citizens most often cite the provision of psychological assistance and supoport to the Armed Forces of Ukraine as among the primary tasks of religious associations during the war: "Assessing which types of social ministry of churches and religious associations, in their opinion, are most important for society, respondents most often named psychological assistance (59%) and protection of vulnerable groups (46%)."
The public demand for a patriotic position of churches remains high: 52% of respondents support the national orientation of the Church, which is significantly higher than "pre-war" indicators. Such high trust indicates that the Church is increasingly perceived by Ukrainians not only as a religious institution but as a key centre of social resilience and psychological support. Under wartime conditions, citizens turn to religious organisations as an environment capable of providing the necessary level of emotional help, social adaptation, and humanitarian support, reinforcing this with their trust on a par with key security institutions and public initiatives.
The purpose of this article is to provide a comprehensive analysis of how Ukrainian Protestant communities are transforming their traditional forms of ministry to provide effective support to people in states of acute and prolonged grief. The research focuses on identifying the mechanisms that enable the church to become a centre of healing by combining biblical principles with modern methods of spiritual and psychological accompaniment.
Aim and Methodological Approach
From a methodological perspective, this work is an analytical literature review and theoretical synthesis. The study applies a conceptual-analytical approach involving methods of secondary analysis of sociological data, which made it possible to examine the specifics and challenges of the pastoral and social ministry of Protestant communities to the families of fallen service members. To substantiate the theoretical statements, the results of the first large-scale nation-wide Christian-oriented study were used, conducted by the Institute of Leadership, Management, and Coaching at the Ukrainian Baptist Theological Seminary in partnership with the IUA Analytical Center ("Survey of Wives of Fallen Heroes," 2024; 458 wives of fallen defenders surveyed). In addition, the article employs a method of qualitative monitoring of public communications (posts on social networks by chaplains, military pastors, wives, and family members of fallen warriors), which enabled the analysis of the dynamics of public demand for pastoral care and the identification of successful and problematic practices in contextualising church ministry under martial law.
The theological understanding of suffering, according to Dr. Diane Langberg, stems from the recognition of Christ as a "Man of Sorrows" who entered our world to personally pass through pain, betrayal, and loneliness. Suffering is not an abstract category; it is a reality that demands the church follow the God who "loves justice." The biblical perspective implies that God never overlooks trauma but remains in the midst of a person's "darkest moments," revealing His love and healing.
The comprehension of loss is based on the idea that we must "descend into the dungeon"—the place of another person's suffering—just as the Lord descended into our "cesspool" to reveal His love and call us to Himself. This is not only a psychological process but also a spiritual calling to "weep with those who weep."
The trauma of loss, especially in wartime conditions, creates a state where the "normal way of human functioning" collapses. Richard Mollica notes that in such conditions, normal reality develops a "crack," and familiar social and personal bonds are severed. The Church is called to be an environment where traumatised people are not left alone with their pain. Dr. Diane Langberg emphasises that if the Church does not step onto the "territory of trauma," the question arises as to whether it is functioning as the "body of the incarnate God."
In Ukraine, research into the experience of trauma and grieving by the relatives of military personnel is deepening, as the issue of mental health in this category becomes increasingly relevant in light of the protracted armed conflict. A study by L. Zasekina, S. Zasekin, and V. Kuperman, conducted among Ukrainian civilians during the Russian invasion, revealed a high level of PTSD symptoms and moral injury among women, especially those who had suffered the loss of loved ones. It states: "Considering the long-term nature and scale of war crimes, psychological assistance to civilians is necessary both in the current period of hostilities and in the post-war period." In her article "Clinical-Psychological Aspects of Experiencing Loss and Diagnosing Complicated Grief," O. Avramchukemphasises: "The optimal trajectory of recovery after the death of a significant person consists in the successful resolution of non-linear 'tasks' that loss poses to a person."
The study of the experiences and needs of the relatives of fallen soldiers by Cedos (the non-governmental organisation "Centre for Society Research"), the results of which were released on November 25, 2024, focuses on the needs of the families of the fallen, particularly regarding psychological support, and on the obstacles that hinder the receipt of such help. The conclusions in particular, state: "Some informants reported that in the first period after receiving news of the death of a loved one, they could not continue their affairs, losing the ability both for social interaction and for any other activity."
Throughout 2024, a study was conducted by the Institute of Leadership and Management (ILM) and the IUA Analytical Center; the total number of respondents was 458 wives of fallen service members.
This study revealed a deep emotional and psychosocial trace left by the loss of a husband-soldier in the lives of the widows. The vast majority of the women surveyed are in a state of prolonged grief, accompanied by feelings of loneliness, confusion, emotional exhaustion, and, in some cases, the loss of meaning in life. Many of them seek to talk about their loss and preserve the memory of their husbands, but at the same time, they face a lack of understanding from relatives and society. Social support proved to be critically important: the majority of the women feel a need for an environment of similar experience, that of other wives of fallen service members. It is these communities that create an atmosphere of unconditional acceptance and mutual support. However, not everyone experiences this as a resource—some, on the contrary, admit that such communication can deepen the pain. This indicates a need for professional accompaniment and differentiated approaches to assistance. Another important aspect is the spiritual component: some women find in faith a source of strength, consolation, and motivation. However, for others, the war and the loss became the cause of a crisis of faith, which requires an especially sensitive pastoral approach. Over a quarter of the respondents pointed to the importance of God in the process of recovery, although almost as many pointed to the difficulty in defining their own spiritual state. This underlines the need not only for spiritual accompaniment but also for gentle, dialogical pastoral care.
It is worth emphasising separately that, as the survey shows, a significant portion of the women either had not sought help from psychologists or had a negative experience interacting with them. This result points to a deficit of specialised assistance and a need for the integration of spiritual and psychological accompaniment. At the same time, resources—such as changing one’s environment, communication, creativity, and physical activity—are recognised as important elements in recovery. This creates the prerequisites for forming comprehensive support programmes involving the church.
Theological Frameworks and Practical Models of Ministry
According to Dr. Diane Langberg, the role of the church community consists of the following:
recognition of the reality of evil. The church must call things by their proper names (evil as evil, injustice as injustice) rather than maintaining a neutral position.
communion in suffering. To follow Christ means to enter into the zone of another person's suffering, to "keep watch" alongside those passing through the darkness, and to be a witness to their story.
creation of a safe space for the "trauma story." Healing occurs when the victim is given the opportunity to "voice the unspeakable" in the presence of someone ready to accept that pain.
reflection of God's character. The church must act not as a religious system that isolates itself "on high," but as a community that descends to those who are "below"—in the dungeons of suffering—in order to reveal God’s love and justice to them. Healing begins when the community allows the traumatised person to integrate their experience, supporting their own capacity for restoration, which is embedded in everyone created in the image and likeness of God.
Those who work directly with the families of the fallen emphasize the critical importance of church ministry moving beyond formal rituals and generic phrases of consolation. At the core of such ministry lies not an attempt to "fix" the person, but a readiness to be present. A witness is someone who sees the pain, does not deny it, does not embellish it, and does not offer banal theological solutions. It is important to avoid dividing people into "us" and "them," or contrasting different categories of victims (for example, widows and mothers of fallen service members). Suffering is sacred, and any comparison of pain with the goal of determining who has suffered more only devalues everyone's experience and harms the process of healing. All who bear the burden of loss require respectful attention, not competition in grief. Ministry must be a "zone of hospitality" where memories can be unfolded without fear of judgment.
Contextualising ministry means using cultural codes that are familiar and understandable to Ukrainians. In particular, using Ukrainian traditions of mourning, art, and language allows individuals to integrate their traumatic experience into their own life story. Just as Jesus on the road to Emmaus accompanied the disciples, helping them integrate tragic events into the history of God's action, so too must church ministers help people reinterpret their experience through the prism of hope.
Ministry in wartime for the families of fallen service members in Protestant churches faces a number of barriers:
the stigmatisation of mental health. In many church communities, the expression of despair is still perceived as a "lack of faith," which prompts people to hide their pain. The wife of a fallen hero says: "Never in my life have I heard someone share their pain or loss from a church stage and end with the words: 'I prayed and believed, but I did not receive... from God, yet I continue to be faithful to Him...'. Testimonies are always more about triumph, about victory, about fulfilled hope, about prayers that were answered. They are rarely about the pain of loss and faith in God despite that pain".
a lack of professional knowledge and burnout. It is important for ministers to remember that it is impossible to be a witness for others without being a "witness to oneself"; neglecting one's own pain leads to ministry becoming a sterile fulfillment of duty rather than an act of love.
the necessity of "working with despair". Apparent optimism should not be an instrument for denying pain; true healing begins with the acknowledgement that sometimes "time does not heal all wounds" immediately, and a person needs time and space: "Now all of Ukraine is a continuous Rachel who weeps and refuses to be comforted. So weeping not only becomes the state of the church, but calls for weeping as a tradition and practice of prayer, for help and consolation. But is there a place for weeping in the church? It would seem that the church, of all places, should be a community of compassion. But as one Christian woman who lost a loved one in the war noted, 'the church is primarily a place of active speaking, not listening'."
In contemporary realities, Protestant churches adapt various formats to assist people in grief:
mutual support groups (peer-to-peer). These are grounded in the importance of shared presence in the zone of suffering, where participants, sharing similar experiences, become witnesses for one another. This approach helps overcome isolation, as participants feel that their pain is seen and accepted by others who have survived a similar tragedy.
spiritual and educational groups (studying Scripture through the prism of pain). This model involves reinterpreting biblical stories not as theoretical knowledge, but as a history of salvation for people in despair. Participants learn to integrate their own pain into the grand narrative of the passion, death, and resurrection of Jesus, which helps shift the perspective from hopelessness to the possibility of moving forward;
therapeutic meetings (creativity, art, psychological accompaniment). Art and creativity become tools that help release tears and overcome the numbness of the spirit. Creating a space where pain can be expressed not only in words but also through other forms of expression allows people, whose intense pain has stripped them of speech, to gradually restore connection with their identity.
Conclusion
The healing of the soul after the severe shocks of trauma and the grieving process is not simply a combination of professional psychology and religious knowledge. It is the creation of a special space where human experience and the realities of our complex world interact, allowing specialists and pastoral caregivers to truly share the pain that the world brings.
The key task for a leader in such a ministry is presence. It is crucial to realise: we are not always capable of instantly "fixing" or "resolving" the problem of human suffering and attempting to do so quickly can only cause harm. Instead, it is far more valuable to simply draw close to the person, to be near them in their hardest moments, and to become a witness to their truth, no matter how painful it may be.
To implement such an approach, Protestant communities actively train their ministers in the art of attentiveness. This training focuses on the ability to listen deeply, without interrupting the person with ready-made theological answers or moralising, which often only intensify the inner pain. Furthermore, these communities are breaking down stereotypes by openly teaching that despair is not a sign of weak faith or sin, but a natural psychological reaction to unbearable events, which must be accepted rather than condemned.
Another foundation is caring for those who themselves minister to others. Implementing practices to prevent burnout is becoming an integral part of the culture of such communities. After all, genuine support is impossible if a person has not learned to work with their own pain, remaining a "witness to themselves."
Further work in this direction focuses on researching exactly how church support groups help people adapt after war losses, as well as on developing new methods of spiritual support capable of helping a society experiencing collective trauma.
Svitlana V. Fylypchuk, PhD in Religious Studies, Associate Professor, Tauride Christian Institute